I ran around Hyde Park this morning as I usually do on Saturday. I expected it to be pleasant and quite but I've since discovered that the UK Christmas custom after presents and eating is walking. Every man and his dog (literally) were there. Seeesh people don't you have homes to go to? Your kids aren't enjoying themselves, and 'brisk' to them means 'unpleasant'. There was a reason they wanted a PS2 for Christmas.
The Christmas period (in the UK) is an interesting one for me. I'm acutely aware of being Jewish, more so than even on the Jewish festive days. Because, around this time of year, everyone tries to convince me that Christmas is not about religion. That it's about being festive. That Christmas is for everyone.
And they are right. It was for everyone. It had nothing to do with religion. Christmas is a pagan winter festival, borrowed (stolen?) and remarketed and sold as the birth of Christ. You know Christ. Son of God. Had a staring role in some movies. Was bigger than the Beatles for a while. Great guy to have at a party when you run out of the vino. I call him Jeschua (Yosh-ka).
So maybe it's not really for everyone. See the thing is, if you are born Christian, but are atheist, agnostic, or just non-practicing, then it's still ok for you to celebrate the festival. You can chow Easter eggs on Easter, give presents on Christmas, and still get married in a church. It doesn't really matter what you believe, they are still your traditions. It's still the day you get together with your families. The value and the meaning for you, may be non religious, but it's still a Christian festival.
I have different days I get together with my family. Christmas has no meaning to me. Less than none. It's a big non event. It's dull because all the shops have closed and everyone is with their families, but the days doesn’t have any mental or emotional ties to me. No more than say 'Burns night'. You can only insist that Christmas isn't about the religion, but has become a secular day for all to share, if you are actually Christian really.
See I'm not the most religious person in the world. I'm definitely not the most observant yid, but I do certain things that give me a connection with something that is part of me in a way I can't explain. I don't eat pork, I keep Pesach, I fast on Yom Kippur. I don’t do this because of the religious aspect (although there is something there I can't really explain), but I do it for the connection. My celebration of the Jewish festive days could (for the purpose of this blog) be regarded as religious as most peoples celebration of Christmas and Easter.
I could try wish everyone Chag Sameach, and tell them it's not about the religion, it's a secular day for everyone, but no one would buy it. Not withstanding Matzah isn’t as nice as chocolate eggs, and fasting isn't as marketable as giving presents, for everyone who isn't Jewish, those festive days are about Judaism, even if I, a non religious Jew practise them. Do you see where I am heading with this.
As secular as Christianity has become, it's still about Christian traditions. So I can no more celebrate Christmas, than you can celebrate Rosh Hashanah. That doesn't mean I don't enjoy being invited to my Christian friends families for Christmas or what not. I enjoy it because it allows me to see what traditions and values are important to them. It’s part of what makes them who they are, and I enjoy sharing that with them. The same way it is important for me to invite my close friends around for Shabbas or Yom Tov dinner when I can. As they can see what traditions, made up my history, my childhood, me. But I am not celebrating Christmas and they are not celebrating Yom Tov. It’s a window, not a door.
The other reason I have a problem with this time of year, is everyone assumes you celebrate Christmas. I actually agree with the Americans on this. Wish someone you don't know, Happy Holidays. If you know they celebrate Christmas, by all means wish them a Merry Christmas. But this blanket assumption that everyone celebrates Christmas, is a bit annoying if you don't actually celebrate Christmas.
Then there is the cards, and texts and presents. I have spent many years trying to convince my friends that I don’t want cards. I don’t want presents. Partly because as I said above, it has no meaning to me, as its not my traditions. And partly because I don't reciprocate. I give presents to very few people. I give cards to no one. I feel uncomfortable receiving them, because I know I'm not reciprocating. I've said in the past when people have given me presents or want to give me presents that if they must they can make a donation to charity (preferably cancer) in my name. Tzedakah is a mitzvah in Judaism, no matter what the reason. Curiously, no one ever has.
Instead of cards, I (try) phone my close friends and wish them Merry Christmas. I know what it's like on Yom Kippur when I am by myself and non one calls to wish me Good Yom Tov, so this year I decided instead of cards, I would rather make a personal call instead. Instead of people giving me meaningless Christmas cards in December I would much rather people phoned me on Yom Kippur. But it's not about me is it.
So why then on Christmas day, did I don a Santa hat instead of my beanie for Saturday run around Hyde Park. Well given that today was actually Christmas day I thought it would be amusing, and just because I don't believe in Christmas, doesn't mean I am not beyond having a laugh. That, and there are some kids saying to their fathers "Daddy, why is Santa yelling at himself 'There is no such thing as pain' and look like he is dying?"
1. Imelda
Yeah, in the news over here, they’ve said some people have been offending by the whole “Merry Christmas” thing. I think it makes sense, because we all know not everyone celebrates it. Some aren’t offended, some are. Either way, I think it’s best, like you said to said, to wish people happy holidays unless you know otherwise.
Anywho, hope you enjoy the holidays!!!
2. matthew
So I suppose it’s a GOOD thing I forgot to include you in my ‘txt to everyone’ with a big fat ‘HAPPY CHRISTMAS!!!’ in it?
Happy holidays dude. Or like, you know, whatever.
3. Chris
I saw a thing on telly the other month about a Jewish festival where you are allowed, nay, compelled to get utterly drunk in remembrance of [something or other]. I’m astounded that one hasn’t made it into the mainstream yet.
On a semi-related note, I noticed that Clinton’s were selling Diwali cards this year, which left me feeling strangely conflicted: on the one hand, it’s nice that the English mainstream is acknowledging other religious festivals, but left me wondering if their interest was purely because they’ve realised it’s an opportunity to make loads of cash out of a market segment they’ve previously been overlooking.
4. Araxie
Thank you for putting that so well. It’s a pretty much exact expression of what’s been running through my mind since last night. Unfortunately, not all Americans have learned to say ‘Happy Holidays.’ Hence I am gritting my teeth while trying not to explode in anyone’s face. American Jews traditionally go for a movie and Chinese food on Christmas, and my family opted for Thai food tonight. As we were leaving the waitress wished us a “merry christmas”- I cannot imagine what prompted that. I suppose she assumed we were American and therefore celebrated Christmas- but then why on earth would we be eating out in a Thai restaurant? Also, it might be a better idea for people to call you on Rosh Hashanah- Yom Kippur isn’t exactly the happiest of days, and people have this uncanny ability to screw up and tell you about the huge lunch they just consumed. My mother sometimes sends Yom Tov cards, but she absolutely refuses to send holiday cards (Chanukah or “secular”). Your reasons for celebrating the Jewish holidays have cleared my mind a bit- I’ve been worrying about the fact that I feel out of touch with the religious aspect, but I can definately justify and explain my piety with my “connection” to Judaism. Thanks (no sarcasm).
5. Adrian
Chris, the festival you are thinking about is Simchat Torah. It’s a fun festival, and always amusing to see the Rabbi drunk.
6. Lori
Every year I look for cards with nothing other than a seasonal reference. I want snowflakes and ‘seasons greetings’ not Santa and ‘Merry Christmas’ - it’s more tricky than I thought. I am so not-Christian that I always have a bit of a worry as to whether what I am doing at this time of year amounts to celebrating something I don’t actually believe in.
You’re quiyte right that the good old US of A does seem to have got it right with Happy Holidays. I wish this country would cotton on.
7. stroppycow
You can always make your own cards or buy French ones which are not christmas cards but new year’s cards and wish “meilleurs voeux” ie best wishes. As unoffensive as it gets.
8. Adrian
the thing is, I’m not trying to give festive cards or end of year cards or any cards. I am not looking for something that is non religious or non-Christmassy to replace Christmas cards.
I have no problem giving Christmas cards to those close Christian friends of mine who I think would appreciate it. But I don’t wish to receive any. There isn’t really a tradition of giving New Years cards, and it just then becomes a replacement for giving Christmas cards.
When we were growing up my parents explained to us that Christmas people got Christmas presents as that was their tradition, and Jewish people didn’t celebrate Christmas and that was why we didn’t get Christmas presents. I was taught about my traditions instead, which is something I value.
Some non friends friends of the family on occasion tried to give us Chanukah presents. The presents were accepted graciously, but we were taught that this isn’t a Jewish tradition. My parents also asked people not to give us Chanukah presents as it became a confusing issue.
The giving of presents and cards doesn’t apply to non Christmas occasions for me. There is no such thing as a Chanukah present, and giving one makes the giver feel like they are do something, because the concepts exists in for some people that Jewish people feel “left out” at this time of year.
It’s not being left out that makes me feel uncomfortable. It’s the retrofitting of other peoples traditions to try fit me in that makes me feel more different, and uncomfortable.
As I said, I would much rather someone gave me a call or an email wishing me well over the fast for Yom Kippur (which few non Jewish people do) than getting a card for the sake of getting a card, around Christmas.
As a side note, Jewish people (that I know) tend to send out group emails to every Jew they know around festive periods, which I find equally as meaningless and which I don’t do.
9. stroppycow
Lori seemed to be looking for alternative cards hence the suggestion. It is more an English thing anyway. I like getting diwali wishes though I would not send any out (anything cheerlful in November has to be welcome). Never got any Yom Kippur greetings though. I envy your sense of belonging and ritual. There is something a bit strange in being brought up with no god but a catholic heritage but that’s another post altogether.
10. Karen
As you said in your post, christmas itself is a retrofitting of other peoples traditions - christianity layered over the top of an existing pagan festival.
I object to christmas on two grounds: religious and materialistic - as I have explained recently on Uborka. But to put that to more traditionally-minded members of mine and Pete’s family would confuse them and hurt their feelings. The whole food-presents-family fest is really important to them, and over the whole christmas weekend, which we spent with them, the only religious moment was the half-ironic grace muttered by Pete’s mum before we started eating. She only does that as a reflex action.
11. Liv
yeh i get the whole ”happy holidays” thing..itz just hard for me because i am the most unreligious person i know. and i dont like being called an atheist either, why do people insist on putting a title on everything? but i do enjoy giving presents on december 25th and participating in the activities..thats why im in a conondrum..! im looking for an alternative to ”CHRISTmas”…
Happy Holidays dude!!