I lied. I was embarrassed so I lied. It should have made no difference, but I knew I would take stick so I lied.
I had an event I went to a while back. I wanted to look really good for the event and was discussing something about it with a friend. I had the day off the day prior to it and he asked me something (I don't recall what) and I replied Well I have to get my hair and nails done you know
. He looked at me incredulously, and said You're joking right
. To which I replied Of course, what do you think, I'm some kind of girl?
Which was a lie. Well not that I'm a girl, as it's pretty firmly been established that I am a guy. However I was getting my hair and nails done. And more.
See, the place I get my hair cut is this place called Jason Shankey. It doesn't call itself a hair salon/dresser/barber but rather Male Grooming. They do, do hair cuts, but they also do a wide array of beauty & grooming treatments. Now the thing is they do pretty good hair cuts, so I've been going fairly regularly for about a year now. I've also had a hot towel shave once, which I've got to say, is worth growing a beard for.
Anyway, I was owed a day off, for working through a public holiday, and so had the day off prior to this event. I needed a hair cut and was about to book for that, so I surfed to their site to get their number. I ended up browsing their list of grooming services they did. Seeing they did full body massages, I thought Well, I have the day off ...
and who doesn't like a full body massage. And I could do with something relaxing.
So I sent them an email booking in for a hair cut and a full body massage, and asked if they recommended anything else. They suggest a hand massage and manicure and a facial. I figured, what the hell and booked in. Then spent the next two weeks not biting my nails to the bone, which is my current habit. I mean what's the point of paying money to have my nails made to look good if there are no nails to make good with.
So got there, and got my hair cut. However the girl cutting my hair freaked out about my monobrow (I do have the monobrow) and told me to tell the girl upstairs to sort it out. Which I duly did.
After the hair cut I headed upstairs where I got hand massage. Not expecting it to be anything to write home about, I was rather surprised at how relaxing and enjoyable it was. Then my nails were manicured, which felt odd, but I ended up with hands that looked really really good. Markedly so. Since I tend to gnaw my nails they tend to look shabby. Having them look good was quite a surprise at what a noticeable difference they made.
Then I had my facial. Part of it was pleasant. Part of it odd. Part of it was unpleasant. And part of it hurt like a fucking bitch. I have a whole knew respect for you ladies. Or I thought I did. Then came the sorting out of the eye brows.
Sorting out of the eyebrows involved waxing them. Or at least waking the monobrow and waxing the edges of them to tidy them out and then plucking the odd stranglers that escaped. Holy fucking mother of pain. How you women do this every few weeks and to more sensitive body bits than eyebrows I have no idea. Oh my word. Luckily it didn?t take to long, but fuck was it anything but pleasant. I wasn't sure if the beauty therapist was secretly laughing or pitying me, but she kept trying to assure me it would all be over soon, in a voice that distinctly sounded like Men, Peh!
. Fortuanly after this was the massage which was a great deal more pleasant.
So after about three hours that ranged from relaxing and pleasant to torture I walked out, with my wallet considerably lighter, a decent hair cut and looking really good.
Doubly so the next day, my skin looked fantastic, my hands looked great. My nails looked better than they have ever been (or since). And my eyebrows looked less like I was going to turn into a werewolf should it be a full moon.
No one noticed of course, but that was fine, I looked really good, and as a result, felt really good.
So I reckon I'm quite down with this whole metrosexuality thing going on. Still I have a retarded fashion sense so am not really a proper metrosexual. And I'm relatively clueless about all this stuff anyway, beyond knowing if I give money to Jason Shankey, they make me look good.
I'm still going to lie next time someone asks me where I'm going of course.
1. Francesca
Well, I think that is pretty cool. Now you know what it feels like ;) Thing is, we could do with a picture of said eyebrows.
2. Ian
I’ve had a manicure before. It’s no biggie. I think men’s hands should look good. There’s nothing worse than scaffy looking hands on someone who doesn’t fell trees or build engines for a living.
And stop chewing your nails, that’s a habit for pre-pubescent girls!
3. Nuge
And how much did you pay for this??
4. Adrian
Not that it’s important but I can’t remember. Their prices are online, and you can work it out if you want. I normally pay £25 for a haircut and you can add the rest ontop of that.
5. Destructor
I’ve done the math:
£25 for haircut £39 for facial £18 for hand massage £13 for manicure £45 for full body massage £8 for “eyebrow shaping”
Which brings us to:
£148!
I’d really love to see a before and after picture to see just how good £148 can make one look.
6. Adrian
It’s more about how good it can make one feel than look.
And how come girls can pamper themselves and I can’t.
7. Adrian
Please ignore that last sentance.
8. grumpyoldman
Blimey £25 for a hair cut. I can walk accross the road from the office at lunch and hair a good hair cut for £9, but then I do live and work in the sticks.
I shall have to re-evaluate my opinion of male grooming, I always thought it was a Gay thing, and from your interests documented in your Journal you’re obviously not Gay.
9. Nuge
This whole “To get a woman, I gotta think like a woman” motif of yours is getting out of hand.
10. Matthew
I recall, not a week gone, you complained vociferously over a chilled bottle of Singapore’s finest about ‘hemorrhaging money’ and ‘having to do something about it’. Spending £145 on your freakin’ hair and nails is actively slicing open your financial jugular my learned friend. You need to stem the flow, not squeeze the wound.
11. Adrian
This money was not spent this year.
12. Matthew
That’s not really the point.
13. Chris
Well, I spent £25 on haircuts, and I can see the appeal of a full body massage, but… the rest of it really does seem a bit, well, girly.
Mind you, I do own three or four different types of moisturiser, so I guess I’m not really one to talk.
14. Matthew
You’re all a bunch of ladyboys. Next time I’m near any of you I’ll be holding my breath in case it’s contagious.
And if anyone notices an increased profunderance of lads with immaculate eyebrows and beautiful nails… IT’S AIRBORNE.
15. Adrian
And you wonder why I lie.
16. Gordon
Bravo you. Glad you enjoyed it and I can testify, partly, that the removing of eyebrow hair hurts like a bastard… mind you that’s only a few odd hairs with a pair of tweezers, anyone comes near me with hot wax will have to catch me first!!
Underneath all this good natured ribbing is, of course, a sense of homophobia. Not an outright “it’s disgusting an evil” but more a feeling of “it’s not right” and that’s sad. Tolerance is hard to learn, harder to teach.
17. Destructor
Gordon, that’s a fairly specious connection you’ve made there. Ribbing someone about spending £148 on personal grooming isn’t inherently homophobic- that’s a conclusion one can only draw if one exclusively associates good male grooming with homosexuality, which I can tell you is not always the case.
Hell, I’ve ribbed gay friends about their overabundance of grooming products and they don’t take it as some kind of attack on their sexual preference- the least straight guys (er, ‘metrosexual guys’- God I hate buzzwords) can do is be similarly good humoured.
18. Adrian
It’s only a lot of money because I did several things at once. It cost less than £40ph which isn’t all that bad, and each individual item was fairly priced.
I don’t mind the ribbing. I get ribbed a lot and accept this.
The point I was making is I lie about these things because I was embarrassed and didn’t feel like the ribbing. I shouldn’t need to lie.
And whilst you may not infer homophobic connotations, I think many people do. The whole definition of metrosexual is slightly homophobic (a straight person who act in a gay fashion with respect to male grooming) as if only gay people should be feminine enough to do this.
You I know are not homophobic. But I think many people would view this as “slightly gay” and express it that way, and even if not directly homophobic there would be some of that sentiment lingering as Gordon says
19. Matthew
All I’ll say is, I know plenty of gay guys who would never consider paying £148 (that’s ?216!!!) in a ‘male grooming emporium’. It’s much cheaper for them to get their boyfriend to do their eyebrows, you see.
20. Gordon
Destructor, I’m gonna post on this on my site soon to expand. Yes the link is tenuous but it’s there.
21. bezwick
During my Liverpool trip, accompanied by Mr Sevitz I went for a haircut. They wanted £30. Adrian told me it would be worth it. I got my haircut leaving Adrian surfing. Afterwards, I asked if my haird looked good. Yes he said. Does it look £30 good, was it worth £30? Yes he said. That made me very happy with myself. I also got a good feeling about myself becuase I thought I looked good. It is worth spending that money. Only then I told him that I wondered round Liverpool and got aa haircut from the dodgiest back alley barber working out of a portacabin style shop and it cost £6 including a £1 tip. That made me feel even better! My hiarcut cost less than most people would tip a gromming parlour. Gotta love Liverpool (there were also a lot of people trying to sell me a lot of stuff on the street and not just narcotics). Best business sense anywhere in the world, those scousers.
22. Lori
I’m very impressed. That sounds like a wonderful day. I never had treatments until I worked at a college that teaches hair and beauty courses, but now I highly recommend facials and manicures (the hand massage and parrafin wax treatment are essential for full relaxation). Never had a full body massage but probably ought to. I bet you felt amazing! Anyone who says you’re being ‘girly’ should be ignored - they’re just jealous because they’re missing out.
23. Southern Bird
Grooming is good. I would personally never be able to justify spending that much on grooming! Girly or not. But if you’ve got the wonga, then you can spend it how you want i guess. (hi by the way - via Gordon) I agree on before and after pics mind you heh.
24. Ey Uup
The thing that surprised me most is that the line “After the hair cut I headed upstairs where I got hand massage” didn’t get picked up. Perhaps I have a filthy mind, but £18 for a hand massage sounds like Amsterdam prices…
Personally, I try to not pay more than £7 for a haircut (which might explain something about the way I look!)
25. sTaCi
….from a girl’s point of view.
i bet you looked Hot!
there’s No reason that men should not want to take care of themselves… feeling good and caring about the way that you look and even paying to get hand massages, body massages AND even your nails done says ALOT about who you are and how comfortable you are with your sexuality as a man - it doesnt mean you’re gay or feminine in Any way and those who THINK that it does are just uncomfortable in their own skin and probably a little insecure about who they are…….
can we see pictures??